Understanding Why Alcoholics Blame Others For Their Problems

Understanding Why Alcoholics Blame Others For Their Problems

I know of a few reasons why alcoholics will blame people for their problems. When I was in the depths of my addiction, I blamed everything that was bad on others. When I went by a divorce it was all because of her that our life together was over. When I didn’t have enough business at my restaurant, it was someone else’s fault. already when I carelessly wasted a large amount of my inheritance, I blamed my second wife.

It wasn’t until I got sober and stayed that way for several years that I truly began to realize how much blame I had projected on the people nearest to me. Finally at the age of thirty seven, I began to grow up and take responsibility for my own life.

I’ll never forget how I whined to my attorney that the court system was just not fair when she told me the ungodly amount of money I would have to pay in child sustain for three children. How could they be so cruel to make me pay that amount? How was I supposed to live on so little left over? For several years I blamed the court system for all of my financial problems, along with my ex-wife. If they had not been unrealistic about setting the laws for child sustain so high, I would have money.

It was in sustain group meetings designed for friends and family members of addicts that I discovered why alcoholics blame others. They cannot stand themselves most of the time. They love to play the role of being the victim.

The bottom line is this though, Alcoholics placing blame on others is one of the many personality attributes they have. This is something that will not change until they get sober and start participating in alcoholism sustain group meetings.

Here is the funny part though, they don’t already realize that they are doing it most of the time. already when we point it out to them, they deny their behavior. I never realized I was pointing the finger at everyone else to avoid looking at my own failures in life while I was drinking. If someone told me to stop blaming them for something, I just tried all the more to convince them it was all their fault.

I remember when my sister stood up to me one time and said; “YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BLAME ME FOR YOUR FINANCIAL PROBLEMS.” The sad part about what happened that day is she shut me out of her life and threw up a protect of anger.

Here’s A Little Advice To Help You Cope

It’s not really important to get the answer to the question of “why do alcoholics blame others?” What is important is to work on accepting that this is one of their character defects. Now unacceptable behavior should not be tolerated. If a problem drinker gets out of hand and starts placing fault on you, set boundaries. Just make sure that you set them in a loving way, not like my sister did in anger.

You will need to get training on how to set boundaries in a loving way. There are certain things you can say and do to protect your emotional well being from the affects of alcoholism.

There’s really no way to make them quit placing blame on you or others. What you can do though is love them just as they are.

Here’s a helpful tip. If what the alcoholic is saying to you or about you is not true, refuse to let it bother you. Just keep up your head up high because you know what the truth of the situation really is.

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